One of life’s great tragedies is the lack of care given to the next of kin of scale pilots who suffer accidental damage, permanent disfigurement or bin-bag consignment.
Here is a typical case. During a foolish attempt at an outside loop, the pilot in control became disorientated and the model impacted the ground inverted. Whilst the model could be repaired, the scale pilot lost his head and needed private surgery and after-care. His next of kin found it almost impossible to fund the cost of this expensive treatment and had to take out a pay-day loan at exorbitant rates of interest to obtain his release from the mould.
All this has changed!
You can protect your scale pilots’ loved ones by joining SPNOKA* now! No more worries for your scale pilots when they should be sitting firmly in their cockpits. They can look up, out of the canopy above, at the ground getting closer and closer, secure in the knowledge that their families will be carefully looked after in the tragic event of a pilot-induced error.
A simple one-time payment covers your pilot, whether he is head or shoulders, waist-up or full body. In the event of his being a write-off, his next of kin will receive up to five sentences of at least 20 words each of grief counselling, interment of the certified written-off scale pilot in a jiffy bag or similar, genuine recycling of the various components, spoken words over the remains according to the type of scale model he was piloting, and finally a no-expenses-spared posting on the RC Groups thread of choice of a eulogy for the scale pilot.
On payment of the appropriate fee and the forwarding of a photograph of the scale pilot, a certificate may be issued to the payee entitling their pilot to the full benefits of the Association.
Optionally, the next of kin can authorise a group trolling of the human pilot involved, written by one of the finest thread subscribers, chosen at random from those who have written 5,000 posts or more.
In the event that the Association has to be wound up, dissolved or placed in receivership, any remaining assets are to be divided in accordance with the wishes of the senior pilot.
Terms and Conditions.
- Payment shall be made in UK Pounds in accordance with the traditions of the Service. Use of PayPal is encouraged.
- Scale Pilots shall be correctly attired at all times. If safety harnesses are supplied they shall be correctly fitted and secured. Oxygen masks shall be worn if required. Flying goggles may be worn up or down. White scarves are not permitted except during air displays. Helmets with pointed spikes are optional for pilots of the appropriate period and nationality. Moustaches shall be properly trimmed.
- “Men in the Back”, navigators, gunners, flight engineers, second pilots and other crew are to be regarded as expendable unless the appropriate fees have been paid.
- Scale Pilots’ Next of Kin is limited to spouse or partner and offspring but does not include pets unless the PPP** cover is taken out .
- Drones and similar remotely-controlled devices.
- 3-D models.
- Non-scale models.
- Scale models without a pilot, including scale unpiloted models, in which case the first exclusion applies.
- Subscribers to SPNOKA must not, and never shall, post “Awesome” in response to some routine piece of modelling posted on any thread in RC Groups. Posting “Awesome” in these circumstances will automatically cancel their SPNOKA membership without refund or apology.
- *SPNOKA and the Scale Pilots Next of Kin logo are registered trademarks.
- **Platinum Pets Protection
SPNOKA helped the NoK dry out this scale pilot’s flying suit and boots.
SPNOKA helped the scale pilot’s NoK fly back to UK with his ashes, but...
...unfortunately the Air Traffic Controller (who was on a jolly at the time) was not covered.
PROTECT YOUR SCALE PILOTS’ LOVED ONES! INSURE TODAY!